Let the rain come down

Jul 20

megay:

HOW TO PICK UP GIRLS IN 3 EASY STEPS

STEP 1: purposefully bump into girl(make sure you are typing into your calculator while doing this)

STEP 2: say “im sorry. i didnt see you, i was taking inventory of all my lizards”

STEP 3: make sure she sees the number 42069666 on the screen

Jul 20

consultingsonic:

madblackgirl:

team 5’5 and under where ya at

they didn’t let us in they thought we were 12

Jul 20
phoenix-falls:

malformalady:

Wisconsin snow storm versus flooding in Ireland

Ireland isn’t fucking around with the sealing capabilities of their doors

phoenix-falls:

malformalady:

Wisconsin snow storm versus flooding in Ireland

Ireland isn’t fucking around with the sealing capabilities of their doors

Jul 20

lolsomeone-actually:

thewriterwhoisalone:

mackblesa:

nevertoomanyspiders:

ceruleanpineapple:

theladysyk0:

lizardlicks:

hellish-deer:

ceruleanpineapple:

spiders.

they’re like tiny 8-legged cats
how can anyone hate them

Spiders are huge derps, pass it on.

My dad used to work as a mechanic in Arizona and he said that wild tarantulas would just wander into the shop and try and cuddle with the mechanics under the trucks. Spiders really dig car exhaust smell for some reason and they would be like “ah yes this human smells nice let me sit on your face while you’re working or perhaps climb into your pocket and see what you have” and the mechanics would keep shooing the spiders out but the spiders would follow them back like “No why would you leave me human friend??”

THAT IS SO CUTE

reblogging for the story, eeee

spiders are the derpiest things though like have you ever played with a spider and a laser pointer, because I thought my lizards chasing the laser was adorable but leT ME TELL U, BLACK WIDOWS CHASING LASERS IS FRICKEN ADORABLE

So I hate spiders but this makes them seem a bit cuter lol

Yeah no I still aint fucking with no spiders

Jul 20

l1nks-world:

scxmbvg:

BIG DOGS THAT THINK THEY’RE SMALL LAP DOGS ARE MY FAVORITE DOGS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD

I WANT 20, THANKS

Jul 20

garbagebagger:

princess-kayjay:

I just had a straight guy tell me “Gah I love lesbians” and before I could even say anything, he added, “because, ya know, they like the same thing I do and sometimes it’s nice to get advice from a girl instead of guys who think making love is just repeatedly putting your dick in something, ya know?” And I have never been more proud of the human race.

i was very mad and then i wasn’t 

Jul 20
facts-i-just-made-up:

The Cnidaria Mammaris or “Sea Boob” is named for its resemblance to the human breast.  Endemic to the southern Pacific Ocean, the Sea Boob can grow up to 15ft wide (Bra size WWWW) and is often found in pairs.  Under the surface, the Sea Boob has poisonous tentacles like those of a jellyfish that reach to the sea floor, where they entangle bottom dwellers to feed.
Sea Boobs were hunted throughout the 19th century, coveted as an aphrodisiac or just caught and squeezed for pleasure by lonely sailors. They may have played a role in the origin of the myth of mermaids as well.

facts-i-just-made-up:

The Cnidaria Mammaris or “Sea Boob” is named for its resemblance to the human breast.  Endemic to the southern Pacific Ocean, the Sea Boob can grow up to 15ft wide (Bra size WWWW) and is often found in pairs.  Under the surface, the Sea Boob has poisonous tentacles like those of a jellyfish that reach to the sea floor, where they entangle bottom dwellers to feed.

Sea Boobs were hunted throughout the 19th century, coveted as an aphrodisiac or just caught and squeezed for pleasure by lonely sailors. They may have played a role in the origin of the myth of mermaids as well.

Jul 20

thats-slightly-raven:

why do nipples just get randomly erect what do u kno that i dont titty

Jul 20
funnyfacesplace:

angergirl:

AU CONTRAIRE
MY GRANDMA GOT ALL A’S IN “ETIQUETTE” (YES THAT WAS AN ACTUAL CLASS IN HER HIGH SCHOOL) AND SHE TOLD ME, “DEAR,” SHE SAID,
“YOU NEVER CROSS YOUR LEGS, YOU CROSS YOUR ANKLES. BUT THE GREAT THING ABOUT YOU LIVING IN THIS GENERATION IS YOU DON’T HAVE TO FOLLOW MY GENERATION’S RULES. SIT THE WAY YOU WANT. IF SOMEONE LOOKS UP YOUR SKIRT, JUST TELL THEM YOUR AUNT MARY WILL KILL THEM.”WHICH IS TRUE
MY AUNT MARY HAD A SWITCHBLADE IN A SPECIAL POCKET OF HER NIGHTGOWN UNTIL THE DAY SHE DIED
the moral of this story is
1. Sit the way you want.
2. My great aunt Mary was a fucking badass.

Aunt Mary is my new hero

funnyfacesplace:

angergirl:

AU CONTRAIRE

MY GRANDMA GOT ALL A’S IN “ETIQUETTE” (YES THAT WAS AN ACTUAL CLASS IN HER HIGH SCHOOL) AND SHE TOLD ME, “DEAR,” SHE SAID,


YOU NEVER CROSS YOUR LEGS, YOU CROSS YOUR ANKLES. BUT THE GREAT THING ABOUT YOU LIVING IN THIS GENERATION IS YOU DON’T HAVE TO FOLLOW MY GENERATION’S RULES. SIT THE WAY YOU WANT. IF SOMEONE LOOKS UP YOUR SKIRT, JUST TELL THEM YOUR AUNT MARY WILL KILL THEM.

WHICH IS TRUE

MY AUNT MARY HAD A SWITCHBLADE IN A SPECIAL POCKET OF HER NIGHTGOWN UNTIL THE DAY SHE DIED

the moral of this story is

1. Sit the way you want.

2. My great aunt Mary was a fucking badass.

Aunt Mary is my new hero

Jul 20
victoriousvocabulary:

ASTRIFEROUS
[adjective]
bearing stars; made of stars.
Etymology: Latin astrifer; astrum - star + ferre - to bear.
[Lizavan Rees]

victoriousvocabulary:

ASTRIFEROUS

[adjective]

bearing stars; made of stars.

Etymology: Latin astrifer; astrum - star + ferre - to bear.

[Lizavan Rees]